I have started reading Twilight. I know it’s considered old news, especially with the second movie in the series coming out pretty soon. But with all these A-listers signed up to do Eclipse and general hysteria surrounding this vampire love story that I have plain ignored for the past year-ish, I had to see what everybody was talking about. The premise of the series never really interested me but the passionate responses the series elicits do:
“TWILIGHT MOMS ARE CREEPY. GTFO.”
“It’s made of fail.”
“Twilight fans amuse me with their fuckery.”
“YO EDWARD YOU SO CRAZY I WANNA HAVE YO BLOODSUCKING DAZZLING BABY”
See????????? And this is just from one Twilight post on ONTD. Read here. There are six pages of discussion and 1,271 Twilight-related posts.
When I broke the news via Facebook status I got 10 – count ’em – TEN (T.E.N.) e-mail notifications commenting on said status. Comments ranged from “It’s totally addictive” to “dislikedislikedislike.” See????????
Stephen King saying Stephanie Meyer is successful but “can’t write” : me wanting to read Twilight because Stephanie Meyer is fucking successful but supposedly “can’t write” :: Jack Donaghy telling Tracey Jordan not to dog fight because it’s wrong : Tracy Jordan wanting to dog fight because it’s wrong.
Does this analogy make sense? It’s past my bed time so I’m a tad doozy. The sentiment fueling my reason to read is more or less similar to Tracy’s reason to dog fight: it sounds hideous and repulsive but I gotta do it!
So here I am in bed at 11:03 P.M, getting snugly underneath the sheets with Twilight in easy reach. Two of my co-workers assure me that I’ll be done with the book in one day. Apparently, it’s a quick read and very engrossing. They tell me to embrace it. They tell me we will watch the movie as soon as I am done reading the book. They tell me we will then all go to the midnight showing of New Moon.
For the two or three folks who actually read my blog, I know you all would never read Twilight so I’m doing it for you. In an experiment akin to the Julie/Julia blog (Have any of you seen that movie, btw? Thumbs up? Down?), I will blog my way through Twilight and hope that you find my commentary insightful or, at best, entertaining. This is Twilight we are talking about. Not Nabokav or anything fucking deep. Hopefully, I won’t be up all night reading this thing so I end up with only one Twilight commentary post. How sad. I’ll space it out.
Off to Forks, Washington! RPattz and KStew are looking at me, daring me to read about their sexually frustrating love affair.