Baby Talk

Late last year I went through an ‘I Want a Baby’ phase. I know. Did you raise your eyebrows? I don’t blame you. It was pretty bad. I even wrote a whole post about it, admitting to everyone on the Internet world that I wanted to be a glowing pregnant woman now. Like, now now. Sigh. Thankfully, the ‘mones have calmed down (Yes, I’m blaming it all on those things and that ticking time clock or whatever it’s called) and I have started to really see the light. Also, after much deconstructing of this baby wanting syndrome I realized that I wanted a baby for selfish reasons (See: an extension of my personal self via dressing very very unborn child in cool hip clothes that only celebs like Gwen Stefani can afford; the “experience” of being pregnant and surviving the labor without drugs; my own mini-me *Cringe*) which is terrible and not fitting of a future mama. Notice all the examples center on me and not on the baby. Gah, lame!

As I mentioned, I’ve calmed down. Straight up locking this shit up. I thought I was bad until a good friend forwarded a TIME article about a pregnancy boom at a high school in Massachusetts. Then I saw this post on Jezebel this morning. Fourteen years old? Aye, mija (As my fifth grade teacher, Sr. Hilda Maria Reynoso, SJS, used to say)! Maybe Juno and US magazine’s baby bump watches are to blame. Maybe Jamie Lynn Spears or Bristol Palin or whichever young’n is sprouting up a bean. But part of why you want a baby is because you think baby showers are “cute?” Say what? I mean, yeah, they’re cute but…I’m really perplexed. In fact, my brow is furrowing as I type this sentence. I thought you were just joking. You’re talking about wanting a baby hypothetically, right? Or in the future when you can actually afford to care for another human. Right?

I’ve read the comments on Jezebel in response to the post and I can see to an extent why some people do not see all of this as surprising or a “trend.” The unconditional love was a reason I had heard before. But there is something to be said about those blogs devoted to celebrity babies and rag mags that duel celebrity babies against each other (Zahara beats everyone hands down, by the way, but today I saw a photo of Mr. Big’s baby son, Orion, and I melted). Funny because two years ago it was battle of deathly skinny young Hollywood. I’m curious to see how long this trend will continue and what the next one will be.

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BB

This is David Beckham in Beijing on Saturday.

becks.jpg

Yeah, throw up from disgustingly cute-ness. You know I did.

Oh, Baby

I am not going to preface this post because that will just be plain stupid. Prefacing means I am “hedging.” It also says to you the reader, “Hi, this is what I am thinking about right now but, like, don’t think of me as any less of a person or something…I mean, this is what I’m THINKING. I wouldn’t actually DO it. Not now…I mean, you know what I mean. RIGHT?” And then you the reader will read this and, in your head, say, “What in the world is she talking about? She’s crazy.”

*Deep breath*
Hummmm.

I want babies. Now. Continue reading