A List Of Things You Probably Don't Care About

It’s already 2010 so a list of things that I loved from 2009 is very outdated. Whatever. This is my buh-log. Plus, I haven’t updated in a long time.

Lists always pop up around the end of the year and I hardly agree with them. I understand Twilight was (still is) a huge hit but that doesn’t mean Taylor Lautner is going to be on my list of ’09 Hotties. That’s just not happening. Sorry Tay Tay!

That said, here is my list of 2009 Favorites and Bests!

1. Bobbi Brown lipstick in Pink – I’m really into lipsticks right now and fell in love with Bobbi Brown’s creamy semi-matte lipstick in Pink sometime during the fall. I’m not usually a bold lipstick wearer so it was quite a shock when I put it on. I thought it was too much but my friend, Bianca, insisted I buy it because it “gave me life.” I hesitated before handing over my debit card. I later texted her THANK YOU after I gave myself time to get used to the color. She was right. I no longer looked corpse-y. This particular pink color is so ridiculously ON it can make anyone look like a cute, fresh, 50s pinup. Especially good for girls who are on their way to transitioning to luscious bold red lips comme la lippy goddess Angelina Jolie. $22, Nordstrom.

2. ‘My Love‘ by The-Dream featuring Mariah Carey

Just about everything The-Dream touches is gold. Absolute gold. I mean, he is the reason Jesse McCartney’s ‘Leavin‘” is good. I actually perk up when I hear that song. Ok, I love that song. DON’T JUDGE. And this one. The moment I heard ‘My Love’ I could not stop replaying it. The-Dream has been out for some time now but he really blew up this year, which is why I will consider him ‘new’ for purposes of asking this question: Don’t you miss getting excited over a new artist? I do. That’s why I love The-Dream. He’s taking R&B to a whole other level while still maintaining that familiar classic R&B groove we know and love.

3. Thakoon for Target line

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Fun, fun, fun! I snatched two pieces from this line and they are holding up so well.  I still wear them.

4. Jeremy Renner’s performance in The Hurt Locker

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5. Mo’nique’s performance in Precious.

GOOD GOD SHE IS GOOD.

6. Robin Thicke’s falsettos in ‘Sex Therapy.’

7. Robin Thicke dancing at the :44 mark. Nicki Minaj’s voice (Not her best performance and say what you will about her being a wannabe Foxy Brown/Lil Kim I still don’t think she’s bad!)

8. The first 10 minutes of Up

9. Manohla Dargis interview on Jezebel.com.

Let’s acknowledge that the Oscars are bullshit and we hate them. But they are important commercially… I’ve learned to never underestimate the academy’s bad taste. Crash as best picture? What the fuck.

What a bitch. I love her.

10. Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody music video

11. Snooki

12. Keel’s Simple Diary by TASCHEN

I was reluctant to try this diary out at first but writing in it now has become one of the little things I look forward to on a daily basis. It is a day per page diary that is structured with a brief questionnaire and statement to get you thinking. The purpose of Simple Diary is to “help us look inside even when we are overloaded outside. The book offers structure for those who don’t have time to wonder, making it easy to record life’s moments. It gives the pleasure of a quick response and the sense that no matter what’s wrong, more is right.” Cheesy, yes, but it makes me feel like some of kind of significant public figure filling out Vanity Fair’s Proust questionnaire (Sample Simple Diary questions: What you don’t miss about the past; Your day was (only choose one): ( ) someone else’s, ( ) like two days, ( ) nowadays…Explain why; A character flaw that you cover up with a white lie). In other words, that I have something important to say underneath all my word vomit.

Too bad there is only one volume of this diary. Volume Two coming…??? Good for people who avoid writing in diaries because they feel they have nothing to write. Also good for people who want to feel like a character in a Nancy Meyers film seeking enlightenment, a brain tickle, or a chuckle. Not good for people who diary for pages and pages and pages on (un)lined paper. All jokes aside, like any diary, this will be a hilarious and insightful read ten years from now. Can run anywhere from $10 to $20 depending on where you buy. I bought mine from Barnes & Noble online for about $13. Check Amazon.com. Google is your friend!

13. Glee – I love the hell out of this show. Haters to the left.

14. The phrase, ‘Haters to the left.’

15. This gif.

16. And this one.

17. Jersey Shore

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

THE SITUATION, SNOOKI, AND PAULY D WITH BEN MOTHERFUCKING SAVAGE.

Oh, I love this show.

18. This was not in 2009 but I caught up with Ugly Betty this year and died when I saw this.

19. Lollicup milk tea boba

I moved back home in late ’08 and have grown up in California all my life so it’s not like boba is a big ’09 discovery. Since moving home, however, I’ve been downing boba as much as I can before I move to who-knows-where. Look, I’m taking advantage of my location. This stuff was so hard to find in D.C. They sold it at my university but they called it ‘bubble tea’ and there were only two flavors that I can remember, taro and milk. Bor-ing! I’ve tried several boba places here in the L.A. area but Lollicup stands out for me. The milk tea is silky and creamy, perfectly sweet, and very well mixed. I don’t feel like I’m chugging milk tea powder mix residue. That’s gross. Oh, and the tapioca balls are black pearls of gooey goodness. That’s not gross.

20. Yogurtland

Again, this is another taking advantage of my location type thing. The place is self-serve with a dozen delicious staple flavors like plain (tart) and dutch chocolate and rotating other ones like mango and strawberry sherbet, and the most random topping selections (mochi, yogurt chips, brownie bites, coconut shavings) all at 39 cents/pound. Never mind the crowds of loud teenagers who either bring out the crabby old lady in you or bring back high school memories of busting through the local hangout like you owned the place. Sure beats Pinkberry any day. I love it!

Here’s to 2010.

Twilight Blog: Ch. 1-6

I read an interview with Stephenie Meyer where she described the process of writing Twilight as transcribing her dreams. It definitely reads so. Meyers is fond of adjectives and adverbs – anything to create some kind of striking image or scene in the reader’s mind. The problem is that the style in how it’s done reminds me of when I was nine and reading Ann M. Martin’s physical characteristics and outfit descriptions of the members of the Babysitter’s Club. Or when I was 14 and reading about the “refreshing” American girls with the brown copper streaked shoulder length hair and tan slender legs Prince William fell in love with while living undercover on a farm in Kansas (This was during my Prince William fan fic phase. No, we are not going there).

Okay, I’ll stop it.

It’s just…

“It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt – sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.”

And:

“I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr. Mason. He gawked at me when he saw my name – not an encouraging response – and of course I flushed tomato red.”

Or:

Edward had a “glorious face […] It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.”

But this is my favorite:

“Clair de Lune?” I asked surprised.

“You know Debussy?” He sounded surprised, too.

“Not well,” I admitted. “My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house – I only know my favorites.”

“It’s one of my favorites, too.” He stared down in the rain, lost in thought.

In addition to the adjectives, Meyer brings in the band name dropping. Perfect. So perfectly high school. It takes me right back to my own high school experience where a ticket to cool was boasting about my extensive rock history knowledge courtesy of VH1’s Pop Up Video or Behind the Music. While I do give credit to VH1 for brushing me up on my pop/rocks basics, looking back I must have sounded like such an insufferable pseudo-rock music know-it-all teen.

“The Strokes?”

“You like them?”

“Julian Casablancas. What else do I have to say?”

Ack! I am proud to say this conversation never happened in those exact words during high school but it echoes those sentiments of icky music pretension that now make me roll my eyes and groan, UGH, but before made me think I was so well-versed in my rock knowledge, laughing off those who thought Simple Plan was “punk” (Meanwhile sneaking in Good Charlotte listening sessions in my room…).

Though this time reading Twilight I had to chuckle. Debussy? Well played, Meyer. You could’ve done The Strokes or the White Stripes or even Nirvana but you did Debussy. Way to go for not falling into the trap of dated pop culture references. Then again we are talking vampires. I guess classical music and vampires make sense? Like wine and cheese? Meh.

For all the crap I give the writing I keep on having to remind myself this is a young adult romance series. I’m not familiar at all with vampire romance novels, vampire novels, and the romance genre in general so I’m not sure how to critique the book’s writing. How do you compare Harry Potter to Twilight? You can’t. I wish Meyer had a better editor, to be honest. I was so tempted to strike through so many useless words that made the descriptions more LOL-worthy. I don’t think that was the point. Really? “I tried to make my smile alluring, wondering if I was laying it on too thick.” Meyer, come on!

The writing isn’t my biggest peeve so much as Bella and Edward INTENSELY GAZING AT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME. It’s either that or passion-filled passing glances. I could feel Edward’s eyes on me as I walked over to the side of the car. It felt like electricity when Edward’s hand brushed the wisps of hair from my eyes. He looked so stern, so focused. Blah blah blah. I guess this is supposed to heighten the suspense leading up to Edward’s mysterious “secret,” set up conflict, and create huge payoffs but it’s so annoying. Sigh…I have to remind myself these are hormonal teenagers who are trying to cool it.

The worst part about reading this book is knowing full well how Bella and Edward look like. In my head KStew is Bella and Pattinson is Edward. I wished I would’ve read the series sooner (Much like every Twilight fan who literally gasped when I told them that I just started the book) just so I could imagine for myself how the two leads would look in my own Twilight world. But no, I got future Joan Jett and Cedric Diggory. Although, Pattinson seems perfectly cast for Twilight. He really can pass for a vampire.

I mean, Jesus.

I mean, Jesus.

Twihard

I have started reading Twilight. I know it’s considered old news, especially with the second movie in the series coming out pretty soon. But with all these A-listers signed up to do Eclipse and general hysteria surrounding this vampire love story that I have plain ignored for the past year-ish, I had to see what everybody was talking about. The premise of the series never really interested me but the passionate responses the series elicits do:

“TWILIGHT MOMS ARE CREEPY. GTFO.”

“It’s made of fail.”

“Twilight fans amuse me with their fuckery.”

YO EDWARD YOU SO CRAZY I WANNA HAVE YO BLOODSUCKING DAZZLING BABY”

See????????? And this is just from one Twilight post on ONTD. Read here. There are six pages of discussion and 1,271 Twilight-related posts.

When I broke the news via Facebook status I got 10 – count ’em – TEN (T.E.N.) e-mail notifications commenting on said status. Comments ranged from “It’s totally addictive” to “dislikedislikedislike.” See????????

Stephen King saying Stephanie Meyer is successful but “can’t write” : me wanting to read Twilight because Stephanie Meyer is fucking successful but supposedly “can’t write” :: Jack Donaghy telling Tracey Jordan not to dog fight because it’s wrong : Tracy Jordan wanting to dog fight because it’s wrong.

Does this analogy make sense? It’s past my bed time so I’m a tad doozy. The sentiment fueling my reason to read is more or less similar to Tracy’s reason to dog fight: it sounds hideous and repulsive but I gotta do it!

So here I am in bed at 11:03 P.M, getting snugly underneath the sheets with Twilight in easy reach. Two of my co-workers assure me that I’ll be done with the book in one day. Apparently, it’s a quick read and very engrossing. They tell me to embrace it. They tell me we will watch the movie as soon as I am done reading the book. They tell me we will then all go to the midnight showing of New Moon.

For the two or three folks who actually read my blog, I know you all would never read Twilight so I’m doing it for you. In an experiment akin to the Julie/Julia blog (Have any of you seen that movie, btw? Thumbs up? Down?), I will blog my way through Twilight and hope that you find my commentary insightful or, at best, entertaining. This is Twilight we are talking about. Not Nabokav or anything fucking deep. Hopefully, I won’t be up all night reading this thing so I end up with only one Twilight commentary post. How sad. I’ll space it out.

Off to Forks, Washington! RPattz and KStew are looking at me, daring me to read about their sexually frustrating love affair.