Food on the brain

10:00 AM me: we should visit miami
Mirah: it seems ideal to visit but not live
yeah i want a cuban
me: LOL
there are lots of cubans down there!
10:01 AM Mirah: oh i meant sandwich lol

Reason #513 Why I Hate Facebook

Because Facebook friending is the next natural stage in a relationship.
11:16 AM Gemma: ok i have a serious question
me: shoot
Gemma: i’m not fbook friends with work guy
11:18 AM should i?
me: i don’t see why not
11:19 AM Gemma: i’m scared
me: i mean,
i don’t think it would hurt
why?
haha
you’ll be fine
11:20 AM and of course he’ll accept
why wouldn’t he
Gemma: i know but what if i dont like his taste in music?
me: it’s not like you guys are “in a relaitionship”
GEMMa
A
OMG
Gemma: HAHAHAHA
11:21 AM me: JUST DO IT
11:22 AM Gemma: 😐
me: you’re crazy
and you’re overthinking this
it’s FACEBOOK
FACEPHUCK
11:23 AM btw, i don’t think i’d like it if my dude called me “baby
though i would prefer babe
Gemma: ew no
i’m not a baby
i’m a big girl!
11:24 AM ok but seriously
we’ve been at this for three weeks
11:25 AM isnt it a little late to be friends?
11:27 AM me: too late?
why?
it’s never too late
i know cliche
but seriously it’s not
11:28 AM Gemma: hahahaha
this is all over facebook
DUMB
me: do it
god please
it’s facebook
11:29 AM Gemma: hahaha
i know i know
i just thought you would appreciate my dilemma
since you hate it as much as i do
me: i do
ahahaa
i fucking hate facebook
but it’s like, i can’t let go
stupid
11:30 AM Gemma: i know i hear you
and now i’m giong to friend this guy like a tool
because its the next natural step in a relationship
me: i knwo right?!
11:31 AM Gemma: this is so dumb.
sara goes ‘you might as well buy yourself a ring!’
hahaha
me: hahahaa
WORD
11:33 AM Gemma: shew. ok done.
11:35 AM me: thank you
Gemma: you’re welcome.
me: does he have a picture
of himself on his profile?
cos i want to see after he accepts your reuest
11:36 AM also
would you mind if i blogged this?
11:37 AM Gemma: HAHAHAHA

Spicy Poop

NOTE: Some people get really offended by poop. If you are offended by anything remotely related to poop, pooping, and bodily functions that are PERFECTLY NATURAL and NORMAL you have been warned. This post may not be to your level of comfort.

—-

Last Saturday I capped off a typical Adams Morgan night of fun with the ever-tasty and ever-reliable Pizza Mart jumbo slice. If you are like me, you pack that sucker with chili pepper and garlic powder. I had not had Pizza Mart in ages so you can imagine how excited I was (Though I’m willing to bet those beers earlier in the day had some kind of effect). My mouth was on fire and the next morning, when all the beer and pizza had digested, so was my butt. WHAT THE BLEEP…? That question ran through my brain as I sat on the toilet. In All Caps and everything. I wondered why that day’s morning toilet pow wow felt different from the rest, made a mental list of what I had eaten the previous day, and when I got to “Pizza Mart, chili, garlic,” I knew why.

I had to confirm my theory and so I went to my friends, the trusted ones who would not judge or make fun of me for asking questions about their poop and my poop. The ones who would not laugh in my face or, if they did, they would laugh in my face and then say in an apologetic and then sympathetic tone, “No, really. I’m sorry. Okay, I’m going to Google this right now.” My roommate, Rebecca, Googled “spicy poop” and found a blog with a person who asked the same question. My friend, Sara, said she’d ask her friend Lauren who works at the NIH and was on her way to becoming a doctor.

Here’s the diagnosis:

11:47 AM Sara: i’m talkign to lauren about spicy poop
me: lol
what’s the word?
11:48 AM Sara: me: if you eat really really spicy food, is it normal for the poop to burn when it comes out?
Lauren: i think so — the cells there are very delicate
and a lot of the spicy probably isn’t broken down during digestion
me: YES
Sara: you’re not crazy!
me: YAY!
Sara: and:
plus, it may cause extra stomach acid to be produced that gets mixed in and that would burn too

So there you go. If you’ve ever thought, No way! because the thought of having burning sensations down there due to spicy foods sounded crazy, don’t worry you’re not. There’s a scientific explanation for that.